Image of a shabby-chic piano with a dark red rose placed on the keys. A few petals are scattered across the keys.

I Hate Valentine’s Day

I Hate Valentine’s Day

There, I said it. I hate Valentine’s Day! From the commercialism to the exaggerated public displays of affection, it makes me cringe. That’s not to say I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day. In the first few years of our relationship, daddy Ragamuffin and I bought presents and had a nice meal. You know – the usual run of the mill stuff. We were in our late teens-early twenties then and influenced by peer pressure quite a bit.

History of Valentine’s Day

I thought I’d at least look at the history of Valentine’s Day before I slate it, so here goes. It turns out, no-one is 100% sure how Valentine’s Day, as we know it now, came to be.

St. Valentine

According to the History Channel, there are a few theories as to who St. Valentine was.

The Catholic Church recognises at least 3 different saints named Valentine. One legend says he was a Roman priest who performed marriages in secret for soldiers after it was outlawed by Emperor Claudius II.

Another theory is that Valentine was killed for helping prisoners escape Roman prisons where they were beaten and tortured. Another story says that Valentine may have sent the first ‘Valentine’, to a young girl who visited him in prison.

Pagan Festival

Some believe that Valentine’s day happens on the anniversary of the mysterious St. Valentine’s death. Others say that the Church decided to put it in the middle of the Pagan Festival of Lupercalia, to try to Christianise the celebration. Lupercalia is a festival of fertility dedicated to Faunus, the God of agriculture, as well as the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

Day of Romance

Valentine’s Day became associated with love during the Middle Ages, but written valentines didn’t begin until the 1400’s. By the middle of the 1800’s it had become common for friends and couples to send each other presents and handwritten notes. Once printing technology was good enough for mass-production people started sending cards.

Why do I Hate Valentine’s Day?

So I hate Valentine’s Day because I don’t want to treat my husband just because everyone else is. My view is that if it takes a specific day for you to spend quality time with your partner then it can’t be a great relationship.

Is it really that special if everyone else is doing it too?

Then you’ve got those declarations of undying love, and stupidly grand gestures clogging up your social media feeds too.  Pass me the sick bucket. I don’t write snarky comments on those posts I just scroll past. But I do wonder why people are so delighted by grand gestures that have only been planned just because it’s Valentine’s Day.

This leads on to my next point which is that for some people it turns into a competition. Some people feel like they should buy cards/ presents/flowers. They don’t want their loved one feeling left out or neglected because the world and his wife are doing something special.

Restaurants put their prices up – and that’s if you can book a table in the first place. The cost of red roses is ridiculous at the best of times let alone for this one ‘holiday’ with which they’ve almost become synonymous.

I Hate in teal text, Valentine's Day in red text against a purple background below an image of a shabby-chic piano with a dark red rose placed on the keys. A few petals are scattered across the keys.

Do others Hate Valentine’s Day?

Ok, so you know why I hate Valentine’s day, but am I the only one? I decided to ask some other bloggers for their views. I said that they were for a negative post on Valentine’s Day and expected to be told I was being miserable. Surprisingly to me, I found that a few actually agreed with me.

Don’t Mind

Emma-Louise from Even Angels Fall I used to love Valentine’s Day, so much so that I chose it as my wedding date first time round. When that marriage fell apart and I started going out with Ed, he knew how important it was to me to reclaim happy memories for the date so he now surprises me every year with a new activity we haven’t done together before from horse riding, to a shooting range and last year indoor skydiving. I love that we now have a new tradition for Valentine’s that isn’t just an expensive meal & a box of chocolates.

Sophie from Soph-Obsessed  – It’s a nice reminder to take time out as a couple especially when you are a parent BUT if life gets in the way and we miss it I’m not concerned. I don’t like the pressure to spend money just because someone decided we should.

Donna from Bobsy’s MumI’m in the middle. We have “date nights” (usually at home!) all of the time, and we’re quite romantic, so I don’t feel like we need a special day to show our love. But, I like an excuse to do something a little more special. I mean, sometimes “Tuesday” is an excuse to have a giant meal and buy presents – the more the better! We normally take the kids out somewhere nice in the day, buy a new DVD, cook a steak dinner and a bottle of fizz.

Not Fussed Either Way

Sarah from Digital Motherhood I don’t really have feelings either way, our wedding anniversary is more important to celebrate. Valentine’s day is an excuse to get a takeaway.

Christy from Welsh Mum of One I’m ambivalent about Valentine’s Day. We don’t celebrate it as we go all out on our wedding anniversary, which is more appropriate as that’s a day that really means something to us. If we do celebrate, it’s with an experience / spending time together – we’ve never done gifts or cards. I dislike the commercial aspect of it that can create unrealistic expectations especially for younger couples.

Lianne from Mrs Mummy Harris I love the idea of Valentine’s Day but hubby always seems to be on call when it happens so we’ve only ever had one where we celebrated it. Seven years later it’s lost its spark so I’m not fussed. If someone else was excited over it I’d bask in their happiness!

Vikki from Family Travel with EllieMy husband and I enjoyed making a romantic fuss on Valentines’ Day before we got married. Then our wedding anniversary became the significant date to celebrate, so we don’t bother with Valentines Day. It’s a bit tacky and commercial these days.

Hate It

Sarah from Mummy Cat NotesNever done it, why say I love you on one day when you could say it all year! Our anniversary is more important to us than a day to spend money on stuff you don’t need.

Pete from Household Money SavingI hate Valentine’s day because we’re put under pressure to buy gifts. Even tafter being together for 20 years, we can’t seem to ignore it.

Charlie from Our Altered LifeJust no. Everything is overpriced and some people feel that an OTT declaration of love on one day is enough for the year. I’d go mad if I got flowers on Valentine’s Day and would prefer them randomly for no reason other than I was in his mind.

Emma from Our Fairytale AdventureI can see why people celebrate Valentines Day because it can be difficult to spend time as a couple once parents. So it can be a good way of setting aside some time together. We make an effort to set aside time as a couple throughout the year. So for us Valentine’s Day is over priced for doing the same thing we don’t other points throughout the year.

Kim from Brummie Gal in CardiffWe stopped celebrating St Valentines Day as every year we ended up in an argument (not related- but weird!).

Helen from Welsh Mum WritingHATE it! I’d rather someone show me they care with actions and nice things all the time. It feels contrived and so overpriced. I’d rather a bag of Maltesers and a box of my favourite fancy tea now and again. That shows he really knows me.

Laura from Five Little DovesI hate that it makes me feel irrationally angry at my husband for not showering me with flowers and gifts like everyone else according to social media! He’s romantic in so many other ways – Valentine’s Day makes me forget!

Am I making a fuss over nothing or do agree with me? Leave me a comment and let me know.

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